It's so hard to forget the words you said

There are a lot of things that skip our mind during our daily trip through life. Some of the things people say or write stick with us and affect everything about who we are. They change our landscape of learning, thought patterns and our mannerisms. I guess, if you really think about it, we are a collection of who others are. This is probably not the most pleasant thought for those of us who likes to be "special" and original in some way, shape or form. I mean in reality, how much of anything is really original? Isn't every innovation inspired by an old one? I sometimes think about the people who are touched by the words of others too often. Wouldn't they just feel like their minds were about to explode into a billion bits because it is churning only with what others have to say? Just some random thoughts. So, here is my question, a rhetorical one in essence, you can answer it in your brain if you would like to. What is originality? Is it even real? If not, are those who claim to be original (the forward thinkers of our day) even so? or are they just like the rest of us, hidden beneath others' thoughts?

Fall by christie featuring disc earrings

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Please don't lie to me. Look me in the eyes, tell me you love me.

This is just a quick face of the day (FOTD) that I filmed a quick tutorial on. I have no idea if I'm going to post it up because it was so "all over the place". But, here are some pictures I have from the film; thought I might as well share these. 

Oh, and an added note to the title, isn't it the worst when someone lies to you/hides things from you? 

The "deer caught in headlights" look

I used the Sleek storm palette (you can get these in the UK). I chose to use the two matte browns and one shimmery color on the center of my lid. I used the lighter brown on my lid and the darker in my crease with a 217. I added a liquid liner that was slightly dried out (therefore the grey-black effect) and a black mascara (Smashbox's Lash DNA). After, I used the blush I always use (MAC's Giggly) and Benefit's benetint. I thought this look would be great for pictures/anytime because of the overload of matte shades (which tend to photograph well). I might wear this for my senior pictures. I'd probably redefine my eyebrows and add a little more darkness to my lashline if I were wearing this for my pictures. Otherwise, I'd totally wear this for everyday. I've kinda fallen in love with this palette. If I had one palette for a year, it'd be this one. 

The "I'm so cool I can laugh" look

The "awkward glassy looking right eye" look

The Smiley look (and don't forget the awkward ear and apparent dimples -that I don't have)

The "I want candy" look

Every word of yours is mesmerizing and every silence breaks me

dress: hollister
shirt: h&m
scarf: india
belt: vintage
necklace: vintage (maybe?)
shoes: who needs them.

Yay sucky pictures. :D

I think it's time I tell a story

There are a lot of things that people don't know about me. I feel like I should say something about what I'm like now, and what I was like before. I'm not trying to be anything or prove that I'm anything by saying this. You can call this just normal teenage angst but, this is simply my story.

We (as in girls) are obsessed with other girls, and boys. Both of these obsessions are so incredibly unhealthy. Some time in middle school, I was obsessed with attention, control, other people, and I guess myself. I searched out boys for attention. I didn't eat to control myself. I saw how beautiful other girls were and saw that I really wasn't good enough. I realized how talented some people were and discovered that I had no talent. I never grew tired of the constant comparisons. It is so easy to scroll through a beautiful girl's facebook profile (or myspace back then). Back in like 2005, there were girls called "site models". They were very much like the girls of tumblr today- the beautiful ones without names, but their pictures are all over the internet. I used to wish I was like one of them. They were always tan, always beautiful, with brilliant smiles. Behind the computer, while comparing myself, I could only feel ugly. What other feeling would you get from that sort of mindset? I didn't wear contacts often back then, I still had some baby fat on my cheeks, and I definitely was in that awkward middle school stage where I wished I could just grow up. I had never worried about my body before this time; I had always thought I was skinny enough. Suddenly, my size 00 jeans were too large and my face was too ugly. I resorted to barely eating anything, and I was encouraged by a friend who had a similar mindset. I worked out everyday, two or three hours a day, right after school. My weight dwindled slowly, and I felt accomplished. My willpower had manipulated my body, perhaps my will could do anything. I became obsessed with my image- how I looked in terms of both personality and physicality. I would manipulate my personality to please the people I was with. I was the respectful, quiet student towards my teacher. The outgoing, sarcastic girl to the popular girls. The gossiper to my closer circle of friends. I grew confused by it all, until I had forgotten whatever I even knew about myself at the time, not like I know much about myself now (like anyone really does). I turned 11 and I thought I needed boys to tell me I was beautiful. I sought out their attention. It probably seemed normal, the first attempts at flirtation. But it was all to feed my desire to be, well, perfect. I wanted a perfect body, a perfect face, a perfect personality, and a perfect life. A boy telling me he wanted me, and I was beautiful fit right into that equation. My attempt at perfection backfired on me. I became quiet, and reserved. I grew into my own thoughts and stayed there, not letting anyone in. Negative feelings festered inside of me, and wouldn't leave. I found I couldn't make friends, and I couldn't relate to anyone. Practically anorexic, and probably the most unhappy girl I could ever imagine myself being, my eighth grade school year whizzed by. Sure, I had my fair share of unrealistic crushes, parties, rumors, and unrequited love like any other teenager but, I felt disconnected. People noticed a change, some people who I guess won't ever be named. Although I've said this to them already, thank you. You changed everything.

I am not perfect now. I will never be. I am not complete by myself yet, no person can complete me. I am not beautiful yet, I am not ugly. I do not have a perfect body yet, it works just fine. I am never going to be as smart, nice or funny as her yet, I'm pretty fine with that. I stop myself from comparing myself to others all the time. I do not use a scale anymore. I do not seek out compliments from anyone but myself. I look to give out love to others because everybody needs it. I spend time with myself more than with others because I still evaluate myself constantly. It is hard to let go of things like this. But, I can honestly say, I'm perfectly happy being just average.

This Weekend

I love willow trees. I mentioned this before. This picture of this one is absolutely breath taking. If I had a house, I'd plant one of these. The beauty of God's creation is absolutely amazing. 

This weekend was filled with blessings from the Lord. I won't go into too much detail because it feels a little weird to just reveal everything and leave it on the internet for anyone to find (freaks me out a little bit, not gonna lie here). But, at my retreat that I just went to, we had "mailboxes" made for people to put encouragement letters inside of. At the end of the retreat we all ripped them off the wall and went through them. Little notes like these can never be appreciated enough. It is truly the little things in life that get us by in life. No matter the situation and to whom, I think little acts of encouragement and love can really change someones day. These notes definitely made me smile and realize how blessed I am to have such a close knit family of sisters and brothers as I do. And, if you are curious about these notes, I will copy a few down here for you that weren't too personal. I'd be curious if I were you too.

Dear Christie,

I always enjoy your laughter and your beautiful voice. I love the way you smile . May God always be with you. 

just to add something to this- I do NOT have a beautiful voice. Seriously, my parents yell at me for singing too loud at home. But, nevertheless, this note was really sweet. Apparently a lot of people like my smile. 

Hi Christie,

I'm so glad to have you as a fellow sister in Christ. I actually do appreciate your random singing int he morning during the retreat... it keeps me awake. =] God bless ^^

Dear Christie,

 We have known each other since we were little. What I remember then and now is that you have a beautiful smile, are kind, and are weird in a good way. I know that times can be tough...

Christie,

I know you are struggling with the things you mentioned last night... For now, you have us, we are family, remember?  

These all go along with something that really stood out to me during this retreat - God's love and love in general. Considering that God is love, I guess true love is God's love. It can change someone so completely and only through His love do we even have the opportunity to talk and have a relationship with Him.

To Love When You Least Want to-

I think real love comes through when you do this. Loving when you're angry at that person is the mark of something real because doing that is really, really hard. As usual, just some food for thought.

Shirt: Zara
Necklace: Forever21
Belt: Mother's Really Old belt
Shorts: Hollister
Ring: Paddington Boutique 

 It's been a crazy week. I miss everything about everything and I really don't want autumn to come. Can I beg the weather to stop changing? The fact that the end of August is SO near freaks me out, a lot. I'm going to be a senior next year, which is really weird because it seems like yesterday when I was a little freshman feeling really cool because I befriended some sophomores. I felt really cool. Now I'm old and I feel it too.

Five Things

These are five things I have been loving this week. This week has been a decent one, filled with summer, love and more. Yet, I'd like to say my week has had a little bit of a drab tone because school is about to start. I know I'd like to believe summer is endless. Like every other season, it's had its ups and downs. But, I'm glad to say, I've genuinely smiled quite a few times at the thought of one more day of sun. 

Taking awkward pictures of trees while I wait for my friend so we can talk with each other like we don't have a care in the world. Summer walks with friends, and loved ones are definitely special. I've been loving enjoying the weather, and spending more time outside. One of my favorite things to do in the nicer weather (fall/spring) is to walk home from school so I can enjoy the mix of cool breezes and sunshine. And FYI, weeping willows are my favorite types of trees and the ones that bloom flowers. I'm not really a flower type of girl but, because I've definitely grown to appreciate flowers, nature and trees. I've still yet to see many weeping willows around where I live. I wish they planted more. Maybe they can't live here, that's probably it. Well, I just looked it up, the willow originates from China during the time of the Silk Road and has very aggressive root growth (blocks pipes and such). Thank you Wikipedia. 

More awkward pictures

Colorful, hand made bracelets that people only wear in summer

Those perfect beach waves achieved with a flat iron. The body in them really is the epitome of summer. For a straight haired girl, waves really can make a difference. 

stacking colorful rings on my fingers (blue one is from www.paddingtonboutique.com)

I know these are only four things but, I did come up a little short. I'm posting this early because tomorrow, I'm going on a mini vacation. The next week after, I'll also be away. Vacation seems like a good idea to me now.

Relentless Love

Is it not the future that scares us all the most? Where we are going, with whom we are going with, and where everything will lay out in the years to come. I think one of the worst fears anyone can have is of change. So, I am saying to myself, as a piece of advice for the future, love relentlessly and love recklessly. Although there are many things that are risky in ones life, I think letting yourself fall in love is one of the riskiest.

Shirt: Forever 21
Skirt: White House Black Market
Bracelets: Gifts
Shoes (not shown): Purple Jewel Toned Flats
Makeup: Kept simple with just concealer and mascara on the upper and lower lashes

A cameo from my old pointe shoes hanging from the back of my door. 

Today was Sunday. To me, it meant a lot of things- special things. Yet, to others, it was just a Sunday in August. It's hot outside, and really humid. I decided to pull my hair out of my face by doing a french braid back to the back of my head on both sides of my head. I went for dark, breezy fabrics today because I've been feeling pretty dark. I have no idea why; I'm going to paint my nails a dark red next (I think everyone is catching the fall fever). I decided to snap a few pictures before I went off to church. Put simply, today was a good day.

BTS: Pretty Little Liars- Spencer

Spencer is definitely my favorite character of all the four main characters on PLL. I recreated her look from this picture in my most recent tutorial. 

Wet n' Wild Trio in Walking on Eggshells

The Wet n' Wild Trio in Walking on Eggshells ($2.99 for 0.12 oz) consists of three shades - a shimmery cream "Browbone" shade, a warm mid toned shimmery brown ("Crease") and a shimmer pink toned champagne (more pink, then than) which is the "eyelid" shade.These shadows are all  soft and smooth and have a shimmery texture. I've used this on a variety of different people (including myself) and have seen great results. The eyelid shade isnt' overly shimmery and is extremely comparable to Stila's Kitten (it's a tad darker than Kitten and is less chunky in terms of glitter content). I find this trio to be extremely versatile and wearable. I've worn this trio for a few months straight before (with some mascara and a little bit of eyeliner). The crease shade is not the most dramatic color yet, it's gold brown undertones make it ideal for emphasizing a glow.

Final Thoughts: As most Wet n' Wild Color Icon Eyeshadows are, this palette is very much so worth it. The shadows are smooth and are shimmery without being grainy. This is definitely my most used of all my eyeshadow palettes from wet n' wild. None of these eyeshadows are lacking in pigmentation.

Overall Grade: A-
Packaging: 7/10
Value: 9/10
Pigmentation: 9/10
Quality: 8/10

(more pictures and swatches after the jump)

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Wet n' Wild 6 Pan Palette in Lust and Greed

These 6 pan palettes ($4.99 for 0.25 oz) consist of 3 matte shades and 3 shimmery shades. Although at first glance, they are not very complementary, surprisingly these palettes work extremely well together. There are enough light, mid toned and dark shades to create multiple looks with one palette. Greed contains a matte cream (similar to MAC's Vanilla), a matte, warm, pink toned orange, and a matte black. The black is definitely one of the richest, smoothest matte blacks (perfect for eyeliner or setting eyeliners) on the market. In my opinion, this black boosts up the value of the whole palette. On the other side, there is a surprisingly gold flecked, silver, a gold toned pink (looks more gold on the lids) and a shimmery black. Each palette comes with a foam applicator and awkwardly shaped angled eyeshadow brush (that I find useless). The Lust palette contains more purple shades, and I do find that although I have been using "Greed" more often, Lust has been the more loved sibling. It contains a creamy matte purple toned pink (similar to MAC's Yogurt), a matte mid toned "grape" purple, a matte plum, a shimmery cream (shimmer is not very noticeable, similar to the cream shade in Greed with shimmers in pan), a metttalic grey with only a slight pearlized sheen and a deep plum with red glitters (similar to MAC's Beauty Marked). As a general statement, the matte shades are surprisingly creamy and are more pigmented than the shimmery shades. I do find that some of the shimmery shades are lacking in pigmentation and staying power. When used on the eyes, I do find that the matte shades tend to look better and stay longer.

Final Thoughts: The palettes are a bang for their buck, especially if they're what you're looking for. I've created dozens of looks with these palettes (videos and blog posts down below) and find that they're really one of the best types of drugstore eyeshadows out there. The con is that there is a LOT of fall out.

Overall Grade: B+
Packaging: 7/10 
Value: 9/10
Pigmentation: 7/10
Quality: 6/10


(a LOT of swatches after the jump!)

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Back to School: Study Guide!

In general, students make resolutions twice a year (at least the ones I know). Once during Janurary 1st. The other time is right before school starts (whenever that may be). Whether it is a goal GPA for that year or a slew of new extrarcirriculars, students usually find the need to renew their goals before their school year begins. So, here I am giving you tips on how to meet those goals, whatever they may be.

School: How to bump up your grades (and therefore your GPA) aka Study tips

1. Pay Attention in Class- If you pay attention in class, this is going to boost up your grades in the most efficient way. If you stop yourself from falling asleep in class, you can totally decrease your study time by a lot. 
1. Tips for staying awake in class: 
1. Use colorful pens - the colors will keep you awake, you'll even be eager to use the different colors!
2. Candy - Eat some sucking candies to keep yourself awake, it's never fun to fall asleep with a lemon drop jangling around in your mouth
3. Doodles - Educational doodles, and ones that take only a few seconds (and don't cover the whole page) can give your mind a mini break in class
4. The rubber band trick- Smack yourself with your rubber band. It works every time
2. Study well - Find what works for you, in terms of studying. Whatever is most efficient should be the way you study. Many people just read the textbook/review books/notes and highlight but, I read, highlight, write extra notes to myself and outline my notes again. It is definitely not the most time efficient method but, it works (i think). Take breaks when you need them (such as 20 minute power naps) and try to turn off all technology. 
3. Stay Organized- Another easy way to keep your grades up. Your homework grade won't suffer if you stay on top of everything and know where everything is. File your extraneous and old notes from that year at home (in binders or an accordion folder or even a wire rack). Put everything right back where it came from and use labels and tabs (or a color coding system). Keep your schedule intact as well by using a planner to plan out your time according to what has a higher priority. 

Boys & Friends & Social Life: (more after the jump)

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