Monday, February 28, 2011

The Best Always Fall

I dance.
As every second ticks by, the world seems to grow more somber.
 In my head, bells ring and alarms go off with the beat of a lifetime
– there’s never a tranquil stillness.
I dance
 in every movement; I swear to live life the way it’s meant to be.
Down the hallways in school, I leap and turn
and try to ignore the perdurable stares.
I dance because I should;
I dance because I want my life to be a continuous murmur, undisturbed by shock, sadness or misfortune.

Everyone stares at Becky.
Her long red hair is often times pleated into
She wears hand-me downs from the Salvation Army
and thin
Her skin is spackled with freckles,
and bright flaming acne.
I never knew why they ostracized her – laughing and pointing.
Every time they snubbed out her existence,
 my heart would break into two lonely pieces
 and I would stop dancing.
 My movements would slow and my mind would stop churning at its low humming rate. I’d stay perfectly still to give her the respect she deserved.
Because of this, Becky resided in the library.

Becky’s mind was like a clear pond on a summer day.
It sat, still and pure,
unwilling to be disturbed.
Her mind often wandered into its own depths.
She was not given the liberty
or privilege
to divulge her inner workings to the beating and living.
Forced to retreat, she drew into herself,
as if her body was a shell,
and her thoughts were to be hidden from the world.
They believed Becky was the unlucky one but,
sometimes I thought
she was one of the blessed ones.

On a fateful, winter day
as the snow poured down in fistfuls of frigid sheets
and as the students stamped their feet across the hallways,
they started to entertain themselves by making fun of
I had stopped my dancing,
and nonchalantly stared.
The thumps of my brain quieted down.
It had never been like this before;
they were throwing icy balls of snowflakes at her
with menacing smiles on their faces.
Before my heart could make its premier flip of the day,
I rushed in with a few turns
and grabbed her hand with a smile.
Her hand was cold,
and it felt as if icy daggers shot through her fingertips
like a defense mechanism.
I hoped,
and completely expected,
that my smile could cure almost anything.
What pure optimism that was!
Her hand slipped out of my grip;
the ice never melted.
Before she turned her back to me,
she gave me one last look, it was of
Then, I saw her falling over the ankle of another.
Her feet slowly crumpled beneath her
before the rest of her body
A salty droplet rolled down my cheek.

Why do the best always fall? 

I wrote this the other day after pondering upon my own experience with bullying. I felt exactly like Becky, and wished there had been a girl with a beautiful, dancing heart to save me. Maybe I wouldn't have fallen. Just something to think about - the normal teenage angst :) I hope you guys enjoyed this poem, it's something different (originally a VERY short story). Leave a comment of a critique (if you have one) down below!

Friday, February 25, 2011


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This pretty much sums up my trip to boston.
Forensics Competition.
HUGE rain showers.
The Liberty Hotel.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011


remixremixremix. i've been bad w/ keeping up with these posts (i can predict a failure coming about) but, I will try my hardest to keep this all up.




sweater: forever 21
green sweater: vera by vera wang (kohls)
black tanktop: target
corduroys: forever 21
necklace: forever 21
red watch: forever 21
silly band: google
nail color: OPI sweetheart

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Mystic Blues Eye Makeup


Maybelline Velvet Crush Quad
Prestige Eyeliner
Covergirl Mascara


Monday, February 7, 2011

everything is fading faster than I had intended;

honestly, things are fading faster than i want them to. For some reason, my relationships have no sense of permanence to them, even if they were just intended to be friendships. There are two that I'm thinking of in particular,   no, actually three that I can think of in particular. And some may contribute it to my casual sense of "sensitivity", but rather I have no idea what it may be because of. Let's start off with what should be the most important in my life; the most prominent thing that should be shining.  Jesus, My Lord. I feel like something's fading. That fire that should be inside. This week I skipped church- and it wasn't really because my head hurt. But because I felt weary and like I needed a break. I don't think I'm supposed to feel like this about Him. Every opportunity to be spent with Him should be felt like a blessing to even be able to be in his presence, I want to be able to treasure my moments with Him and not feel burdened. Why would anyone feel burdened by such a wonderful gift? Not only this, I have noticed I have been acting more and more spoiled lately, a snobbish little brat ordering her parents around, blaming everything on them. And I remember a few weeks ago, one of my Pastors at my church mentioned cutting out all media. I think the media of our world has taken root in my heart and the heart of many other Believers. I've decided to cut out all movies (I don't watch them that much anyways), and slowly cut out TV and secular music as well. A steady initiative that is okayed by Him to improve my relationship is hopefully going to work. Also, my pastor talked of how letting anger take root in your heart does nothing to help you. I've come to realize that not forgiving or apologizing to some girls over what they have done to me, and twisting the story is entirely my fault and is creating a rotten black hole. I doubt those girls will ever read this blog post, but,
I'm sorry. I forgive you, even if you aren't sorry.

I want to be able to say: "I stand with arms high and heart abandoned... All I am is yours"

Friday, February 4, 2011

remix, cheapness, 30 for 30

Long before lucky magazine came out with their 90 outfits for under $500 articles article (seehere), I have been a budget girl. Ever since the ripe age of 13 (yes, that would only be 3 years ago), I have been lusting over high fashion runway pieces and collections. Yet, at any age, who is really willing to dish out thousands of dollars for a one seasons trendy piece. No, who is really willing to dish out thousands for one classic "i'll wear it forever (not)" piece? We all have abnormally large and stuffed to the brim closets (I happen to have two of those, sadly they are identical and not walk in), so why shouldn't we wear every piece in our closet? So, here is my spin of the 30 for 30 project. I've written many posts about this before, so just check my previous posts for more details on the original ideas, and the links to where I got my ideas. 

First off, let's start out with the reasons for doing the so called "thirty for thirty" challenge. I have plenty of clothes and plenty of options in my closet-why limit myself to only a few for a month? 
  • Giving yourself a challenge with your clothing encourages you to look for more unique outfits and to discover your own personal style
  • It's always good to be on a budget!
  • Remixing allows you to discover your own limits on how well you can dress with very little! Practice does make perfect.
So, how is my thirty for thirty challenge different from the rest? Usually you just pick 30 pieces to wear for a month straight. You just have to incorporate one of those pieces into one of your outfits, you can wear other pieces in your closet. I'm assuming the purpose of this would be to encourage yourself to wear the forgotten and too trendy pieces that you've never picked up. But, I've decided to become one of those cool budget friendly people and limit myself to wearing only 25 pieces of clothing for 30 days. An added voluntary punishment- I can not personally go out and buy any clothing, accessories or shoes. Can I do this? I'm not sure. But, I'm going to go ahead and list my 30 items below, so I can keep track of them. But, to make this slightly more easier, I am letting myself add in any accessories to these outfits, whew!

1. Hollister dark wash skinny jeans
2. American Eagle graphic sweatshirt 
3. H&M Cowl Neck Sweater
4. Black leggings
5. Grey F21 Cardigan
6. GAP blue button down
7. MIT shirt
8. Grey Blazer
9. Grey Sweatpants
10. Plain White Tee
11. Grey Long sleeve shirt
12. American Eagle Printed Sweater
13. Tan Cardigan
14. Black Skinny Jeans
15. Bootcut Jeans
16. Navy Silk Top
17. Mint Green Top
18. Black and White flannel
19. Cashmere Argyle Sweater
20. Black Tank top
21. Cherry sweater dress
22. Navy cords
23. Grey and black printed sweater
24. "Chanel" cardigan
25. Grey Vneck Sweater

Leave a good luck comment below- I'm going to need it!
much love, christie

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